Drazí přátelé, psala jsem vám tu, jak jsem bojovala s anglickými eseji a mohu vám teď s radostí oznámit: dobojováno. Eseje jsou hodnoceny anonymně a po zdárném oznámkování a odpečetění učitel vyvěsí nad dveře seznam časů, kdy se můžeme pro výsledky zastavit.
Jako první jsem se zastavila pro svůj výtvor o vlivu industrializace na volný čas. Paní doktorka, která práci četla, měla přednášku za celý semestr jednu a jediný, co si z ní pamatuji, bylo, že polyká konce vět a není jí moc rozumět. Nahlásila jsem své jméno, ona chvíli koukala do papírů a pak se na mě usmála a povídá: „Hm, hm. No, mám takový pocit, oprav mě, jestli se mýlím, mám takový pocit, že máte na víc. Ano, že máte ty znalosti, zajímavé myšlenky, ale že máte nějaký problém s jejich vyjádřením.“
„Víte, já jsem Erasus student.“
„Ahá, no tak to je teda výborná práce, pokud angličtina není váš první jazyk, to já mám anglické studenty, kteří píšou mnohem hůř! No, ohodnotila jsem to známkou 51%.“
„Hm, a mohu se zeptat, co to jako znamená?“
„To je velmi respektováníhodná známka.“
Aha. Abych to vysvětlila, moc vám to nemohu vysvětlit. Celý ten známkovací systém jsem nepochopila a spoléhám se jen na to, že prostě nějak prolezu a vzhledem k tomu, že mi Praha nic moc neuzná, tak jsou mi nějaké známky šumák. Stejně jsem přistupovala už k psaní těch esejů a tak se mi má Polka divila, proč se tak rozčiluju, že mám v hodnocení slovo choppy, protože mě viděla při práci a tak předpokládala, že to očekávám.
Hodnocení eseje by mělo představovat 30% mé celkové známky, zbytek bych měla dohnat na zkoušce. Rozmezí možného hodnocení je sice až do 100%, ale bylo mi oznámeno, že víc než 80% nikdo nedává. 40% potřebujete, abyste prošli, 50-60% je to s tím respektem a kolem 70% je už dost velký úspěch. Jeden můj anglický kamarád mi ukazoval svou esej, za kterou dostal 74%, ukazoval mi ji 3x za půl hodiny, z čehož jsem usoudila, že tak dobrou známku ještě nedostal a že na něj rodiče budou opravdu pyšní.
Nicméně, ať mě slovo choppy rozdurdilo jakkoli, paní doktorka nepoznala, že nejsem Britka a to by mě mělo těšit dostatečně. U mé druhé eseje pan doktor nejenže poznal, že nejsem Britka, ale zřejmě mě i přesně identifikoval, protože Ženy české renesance objektivně nikdo jiný citovat nemohl. Řekl mi, že téma jsem si zvolila správně (jak renesance ovlivnila přístup k ženám), protože jsem mohla využít i další prameny (očividně ho ten Janáček zaujal). Pak měl nějaké všetečné dotazy jako proč jsem před Early modern period nepoužila člen, jestli jsem tím chtěla něco říct a když jsem řekla, že je to pravděpodobně jen gramatická chyba bez hlubšího významu, dal mi 70% a poslal mě domů.
Upřímně, nevím, co se s těma divnýma procentama bude dít teď, jestli to nějak převedou na těch 30% a pak to sečtou s tím dalším výsledkem převedeným na 70% nebo jako co a asi je mi to docela jedno. Zjistila jsem jediné, jde to.
středa 30. prosince 2009
středa 16. prosince 2009
My past and my future...
Když jsem si to četla, tak jsem se smála, vy se možná tak nezasmějete, ale přátelé, to je moje realita!!! Naprostá většina (ne-li všechny) body jsou stoprocentně pravdivé a mohu je podepřít vlastní vtipnou historkou. Teda kromě těch bodů o polonahých ženách. To není vtipné, ale smutné;)
1. One out of 4 words you hear in the streets is "fuck" or "fucking"
2. You have tried the symbol of British food, a breaded piece of fish with fries and they call it "fish & chips".
3. You see semi-naked girls in the streets and boys wearing t-shirts with temperatures below zero.
4. You are shocked to see that the Uni is closed, city is collapsed and people stranded if streets are covered with more that 5 cm of snow.
5. You have travelled to London just for 1 pound with
a fun fare, and you love it.
6. You wake up every morning knowing that it's quite unlikely that you're going to see the sun.
7. You drink pints every day and you love them
8. You see people having a pee while they get money
from a cash machine.
9. You realize that dinner time is 6pm
10. You see people drunk in the streets at 8pm.
11. You see old people getting pissed in Potters Wheel (Wetherspoon)
12. You are kicked out of a pub at 11.30 pm
13. You have learned the difference between pasty and pastry and you've tried a Cornish Pasty.
14. You see people wearing flipflops and shorts even though it's raining.
15. You've said "cheers mate" more than twice
16. You've tried to buy a traditional coffee maker and you've failed.
17. You realize the most important religion is not Christianity but Rugby.
18. You wonder how people wash their intimate parts without a "bidé"
19. You wonder why the concept of "proper curtains" hasn't arrived to this country yet.
20. You hear and say "sorry" at least 10 times a day.
21. You've seen naked women on the second (and first, and third...) page of the daily newspapers.
22. After a failed conversation with someone in the street you wonder whether he/she was speaking in Scottish, Gaelic, Welsh, Cornish, Irish or English.
23. You see Tesco as an important social meeting point.
24. You have struggled trying to convert from Farenhait to Celcius, from Miles to Kilometers and from Pounds to Euros, but you know a pint is 0.56 litres.
25. You have been driving on the wrong side of the road
26. You have seen old people smiling at you in the street
27. You have been asked for "some spare change" by an unknown person.
28. You see 3 kebab shops and 2 indian restaurants in every street.
29. You've had a Full English Breakfast with bacon, eggs, sausages, beans, etc and you think it's amazing
30. You've had a burger, chips and beans on the same plate.
31. You've thought more than ten times that the car you have just seen was driven by nobody
32. You have tried to destroy the fire alarm at least a couple of times.
33. You have wondered about the wildlife present in your carpet.
34. You see a group of people wearing fancy dresses every time you go out at night.
35. You have been in a pub next to a really drunk lady, that you think could even be your grandma.
36. You think you're going to visit a palace, a castle or a chapel and you only see a few old stones.
37. You realize that taking a cab is almost free (according to a certain person from Norway).
38. You're outside and don't even notice it's raining anymore, because it is just simply normal to you by now.
39. You realise that any kind of food can be eaten with anything else, no matter how wierd the combination is.
40. You have six months of holidays in a year.
41. In case you need to get your hands clean, you realise that you only have two options: boil your hands in water near to 90º or see how they become two beauty ice-cubes.
42. You have a sink in your bedroom.
43. You can't buy shoes in any shop because they all smell like feet!!
44. You find machines in pubs in which you can buy condoms, vibrators, lubricant and even a Hair Straightener.
45. Your house and surroundings are full of rubbish bags because rubbish is collected just once per week.
46. You ask for a double whisky in a pub and the quantity you're given is just ridiculous!!
47. You see potatoes everywhere, in all different forms and shapes, i.e. boiled potatoes, jacked potatoes, smashed potatoes, chips, crisps, etc.
48. You realize that burping in the library is something normal.
49. You realize that no matter how weird the clothes you're wearing are, people just won't care.
50. You have hoovered your room at least once.
51. You shake the hand of someone of the opposite sex you've just met.
52. You drink as much tea with milk as you drink beer (at least 5 times a day).
53. You realize that being served alcohol in an academic seminar is completely normal.
54. You learn that 4 cups of tea per day is good for you.
55. You have stopped questioning why there are carpets even in the bathrooms
56. You know there is a fair chance your house is filled with mould.
57. Your floors and roofs are in serious decay after years of leakages and no maintenace.
58. You have a fire exit in your house.
59. You find yourself breaking into an english accent when trying to order a cuppa tea.
60. You have mushrooms in your toilets.
61. You see daffodils growing EVERYwhere, all year round.
62. You find yourself discussing what make of baked beans is the best...and it doesn't scare you
63. You see all four seasons in one day. first sun (oh blessed sun!), then rain, then snow, then hail. and sun, and rain, then...aaaah!
64. "hello/hey, how are you?" is replaced by "you alright?"
65. You find yourself going out partying wearing only a little top... and it's raining! And above all it's normal because everybody is dressed like that!!
66. You realize that burping in the middle of a lecture is something normal.
67. It's only five and every single shop is closed!
68. You've bought something at Argos!!
69. You think it's normal to sleep on a mattress which was considered old-fashioned crap in Europe 30 years ago.
70. You don't go out to go out but to get drunk.
71. You don't mind the food anymore...
72. Subway is the healthiest meal you can think of
73. You think that having a dildo is mandatory for every woman, and that ann summers rocks your sexual life!
74. You find normal that in clubs the ladies are full of screaming semi-naked drunk (British) girls trying to do their make up and hair again and again.
75. You feel like being a nun when you wear trousers or skirt longer than your knees and tops to go out
76. You go to the lectures just for sleeping..lying on the table, chair..it doesnt matter!!!
77. You discover that a simple ticket of the train can vary from a price of 8£ to 30£.. for the same train, time and journey
78. You realize that you have never seen an English Restaurant
79. You move into a house and realise that you can't open the windows!!
80. You're in the top back part of the bus, and a 9 years old chav asks you for a lighter
81. You realize that British people are queuing politely everywhere except at the bar counter
82. You discover there is a "potato" function on the microwave!!!
83. You phone a Hospital emergency service at night and you are speaking to a non-medical person on duty who will ask you a lot of questions and then decide if its an emergency. This person will even ask to speak to the almost unconcious patient and ask you to describe whether the person looks pale, the eyes are yellow, blue, red.Any bleeding...blah blah and then tell you that a doctor will only be available at 9.00 in the morning...(after an hour of questioning) and you are worried that the patient might die in the meantime but you have no other options :-(
84. Your umbrellas have got broken at least twice and you are still hoping not to break the new one even if it's May!
85. You see your housemate ordering chinese food or pizzas three times a week
86. You realize that you can get decent (dark, rye, healthy) bread in every European country except for the UK...and no, Toast is not considered a proper kind of bread.....
87. You are no longer suprised to see fans and radiators on at the same time (either in February or June!)
88. You are certainly annoyed by their stupid sockets
89. You realize that every product you buy "may contain trace of nuts"
90. Your sentences begin with.."to be honest"..
91. You are addressed as "treacle, sugarplumb, darling, sweetheart, love, ...." (and all other versions of nicknames in that genre you normally only call your wife/lover) by the staff in supermarkets, pubs and restaurants.
92. You are affected by CCTV paranoia.
93. You can see, on a saturday night, Dancing on ice, strictly come dancing, pop idol, x factor, big brother, big brother celebrity, I'm a celebrity get me out of here (and so on) simultaneously!
94. You are not surprised to see an old lady, her daughter and her granddaughter dancing together in a club.
95. You talk about the weather all the time.
96. You hear "WHA" instead of W-H-A-T ! and "THA" instead of T-H-A-T!!!
97. You have asked to borrow ten "quid" instead of ten pounds from someone
98. It is 23.45 and the bell rings in the pub. Last orders mate, lets have 2pints each...
99. You have to pull a string to switch on the light or get the water from the shower!!
100. You realize "taking the piss out" of someone is not a medical procedure
101. You realize everybody just gets crazy in a club when Dj plays Mr. Brightside (The Killers), Place your hands (Reef), Don´t Stop me Now (Queen)!!LOL or the Baywatch theme...
102. You have to mind the gap between the train and the platform.
103. Every door is a "fire door" that you have to "keep shut".
104. You start celebrating Christmas Time right after Halloween.
1. One out of 4 words you hear in the streets is "fuck" or "fucking"
2. You have tried the symbol of British food, a breaded piece of fish with fries and they call it "fish & chips".
3. You see semi-naked girls in the streets and boys wearing t-shirts with temperatures below zero.
4. You are shocked to see that the Uni is closed, city is collapsed and people stranded if streets are covered with more that 5 cm of snow.
5. You have travelled to London just for 1 pound with
a fun fare, and you love it.
6. You wake up every morning knowing that it's quite unlikely that you're going to see the sun.
7. You drink pints every day and you love them
8. You see people having a pee while they get money
from a cash machine.
9. You realize that dinner time is 6pm
10. You see people drunk in the streets at 8pm.
11. You see old people getting pissed in Potters Wheel (Wetherspoon)
12. You are kicked out of a pub at 11.30 pm
13. You have learned the difference between pasty and pastry and you've tried a Cornish Pasty.
14. You see people wearing flipflops and shorts even though it's raining.
15. You've said "cheers mate" more than twice
16. You've tried to buy a traditional coffee maker and you've failed.
17. You realize the most important religion is not Christianity but Rugby.
18. You wonder how people wash their intimate parts without a "bidé"
19. You wonder why the concept of "proper curtains" hasn't arrived to this country yet.
20. You hear and say "sorry" at least 10 times a day.
21. You've seen naked women on the second (and first, and third...) page of the daily newspapers.
22. After a failed conversation with someone in the street you wonder whether he/she was speaking in Scottish, Gaelic, Welsh, Cornish, Irish or English.
23. You see Tesco as an important social meeting point.
24. You have struggled trying to convert from Farenhait to Celcius, from Miles to Kilometers and from Pounds to Euros, but you know a pint is 0.56 litres.
25. You have been driving on the wrong side of the road
26. You have seen old people smiling at you in the street
27. You have been asked for "some spare change" by an unknown person.
28. You see 3 kebab shops and 2 indian restaurants in every street.
29. You've had a Full English Breakfast with bacon, eggs, sausages, beans, etc and you think it's amazing
30. You've had a burger, chips and beans on the same plate.
31. You've thought more than ten times that the car you have just seen was driven by nobody
32. You have tried to destroy the fire alarm at least a couple of times.
33. You have wondered about the wildlife present in your carpet.
34. You see a group of people wearing fancy dresses every time you go out at night.
35. You have been in a pub next to a really drunk lady, that you think could even be your grandma.
36. You think you're going to visit a palace, a castle or a chapel and you only see a few old stones.
37. You realize that taking a cab is almost free (according to a certain person from Norway).
38. You're outside and don't even notice it's raining anymore, because it is just simply normal to you by now.
39. You realise that any kind of food can be eaten with anything else, no matter how wierd the combination is.
40. You have six months of holidays in a year.
41. In case you need to get your hands clean, you realise that you only have two options: boil your hands in water near to 90º or see how they become two beauty ice-cubes.
42. You have a sink in your bedroom.
43. You can't buy shoes in any shop because they all smell like feet!!
44. You find machines in pubs in which you can buy condoms, vibrators, lubricant and even a Hair Straightener.
45. Your house and surroundings are full of rubbish bags because rubbish is collected just once per week.
46. You ask for a double whisky in a pub and the quantity you're given is just ridiculous!!
47. You see potatoes everywhere, in all different forms and shapes, i.e. boiled potatoes, jacked potatoes, smashed potatoes, chips, crisps, etc.
48. You realize that burping in the library is something normal.
49. You realize that no matter how weird the clothes you're wearing are, people just won't care.
50. You have hoovered your room at least once.
51. You shake the hand of someone of the opposite sex you've just met.
52. You drink as much tea with milk as you drink beer (at least 5 times a day).
53. You realize that being served alcohol in an academic seminar is completely normal.
54. You learn that 4 cups of tea per day is good for you.
55. You have stopped questioning why there are carpets even in the bathrooms
56. You know there is a fair chance your house is filled with mould.
57. Your floors and roofs are in serious decay after years of leakages and no maintenace.
58. You have a fire exit in your house.
59. You find yourself breaking into an english accent when trying to order a cuppa tea.
60. You have mushrooms in your toilets.
61. You see daffodils growing EVERYwhere, all year round.
62. You find yourself discussing what make of baked beans is the best...and it doesn't scare you
63. You see all four seasons in one day. first sun (oh blessed sun!), then rain, then snow, then hail. and sun, and rain, then...aaaah!
64. "hello/hey, how are you?" is replaced by "you alright?"
65. You find yourself going out partying wearing only a little top... and it's raining! And above all it's normal because everybody is dressed like that!!
66. You realize that burping in the middle of a lecture is something normal.
67. It's only five and every single shop is closed!
68. You've bought something at Argos!!
69. You think it's normal to sleep on a mattress which was considered old-fashioned crap in Europe 30 years ago.
70. You don't go out to go out but to get drunk.
71. You don't mind the food anymore...
72. Subway is the healthiest meal you can think of
73. You think that having a dildo is mandatory for every woman, and that ann summers rocks your sexual life!
74. You find normal that in clubs the ladies are full of screaming semi-naked drunk (British) girls trying to do their make up and hair again and again.
75. You feel like being a nun when you wear trousers or skirt longer than your knees and tops to go out
76. You go to the lectures just for sleeping..lying on the table, chair..it doesnt matter!!!
77. You discover that a simple ticket of the train can vary from a price of 8£ to 30£.. for the same train, time and journey
78. You realize that you have never seen an English Restaurant
79. You move into a house and realise that you can't open the windows!!
80. You're in the top back part of the bus, and a 9 years old chav asks you for a lighter
81. You realize that British people are queuing politely everywhere except at the bar counter
82. You discover there is a "potato" function on the microwave!!!
83. You phone a Hospital emergency service at night and you are speaking to a non-medical person on duty who will ask you a lot of questions and then decide if its an emergency. This person will even ask to speak to the almost unconcious patient and ask you to describe whether the person looks pale, the eyes are yellow, blue, red.Any bleeding...blah blah and then tell you that a doctor will only be available at 9.00 in the morning...(after an hour of questioning) and you are worried that the patient might die in the meantime but you have no other options :-(
84. Your umbrellas have got broken at least twice and you are still hoping not to break the new one even if it's May!
85. You see your housemate ordering chinese food or pizzas three times a week
86. You realize that you can get decent (dark, rye, healthy) bread in every European country except for the UK...and no, Toast is not considered a proper kind of bread.....
87. You are no longer suprised to see fans and radiators on at the same time (either in February or June!)
88. You are certainly annoyed by their stupid sockets
89. You realize that every product you buy "may contain trace of nuts"
90. Your sentences begin with.."to be honest"..
91. You are addressed as "treacle, sugarplumb, darling, sweetheart, love, ...." (and all other versions of nicknames in that genre you normally only call your wife/lover) by the staff in supermarkets, pubs and restaurants.
92. You are affected by CCTV paranoia.
93. You can see, on a saturday night, Dancing on ice, strictly come dancing, pop idol, x factor, big brother, big brother celebrity, I'm a celebrity get me out of here (and so on) simultaneously!
94. You are not surprised to see an old lady, her daughter and her granddaughter dancing together in a club.
95. You talk about the weather all the time.
96. You hear "WHA" instead of W-H-A-T ! and "THA" instead of T-H-A-T!!!
97. You have asked to borrow ten "quid" instead of ten pounds from someone
98. It is 23.45 and the bell rings in the pub. Last orders mate, lets have 2pints each...
99. You have to pull a string to switch on the light or get the water from the shower!!
100. You realize "taking the piss out" of someone is not a medical procedure
101. You realize everybody just gets crazy in a club when Dj plays Mr. Brightside (The Killers), Place your hands (Reef), Don´t Stop me Now (Queen)!!LOL or the Baywatch theme...
102. You have to mind the gap between the train and the platform.
103. Every door is a "fire door" that you have to "keep shut".
104. You start celebrating Christmas Time right after Halloween.
středa 2. prosince 2009
Článek pro Lukeho
Slíbila jsem Lukemu, že mu napíšu článek. Nejprve jsem mu teda slíbila, že na svém blogu vystavím fotku s dárkem, který mi dal před odjezdem, tak se stydím, že mi to trvalo víc jak dva měsíce, ale on by se měl stydět za to, co mi dal. Další obsah tohoto článku je plný dvojsmyslů, odkazů na proběhlé události a chtěla bych poprosit všechny, aby si z toho nic nedělali a rozhodně aby to nebrali moc vážně. Děkuji.
Milý Luke, hodně jsi mě jako naštval, že letošní Silvestr proběhne separé, ale chápu tvé důvody a proto ti odpouštím. Dlouho ti již chci napsat tento článek, jen je to pro mě takové zásadní a trochu je mi to také trapné, tak jsem hledala slova, jak to vyjádřit.
Víš, mnoho jsme toho zažili a taky toho o sobě hodně víme. Ty proto, že já hodně mluvím a já proto, že se mě snažíš vždycky trumfnout. Občas se mi zasteskne po našich hádkách, je prostě těžké najít někoho, s kým se člověk může dostatečně servat, jsme prostě dobrý tým.
Je tu jedna věc, ve které jsme se nikdy neshodli a asi nikdy neshodneme. Víš, pamatuješ si, jak jsme jednou takhle byli spolu v Irsku, postavili jsme si stan na místě, kde to bylo zakázané, nebyli tam skoro žádný malý hnusní pidžinsi, prostě ideálka? Byly tam písečný duny a kousek bylo moře. Tak jsem se byla večer projít po pláži, to je totiž moc příjemná zábava se procházet po pláži. A pak jsem se šla projít po pláži ještě ráno, protože ty jsi lemra líná a nechtělo se ti vstávat.
Luke, tehdy jsem si myslela, že jsem jen snědla něco špatnýho, ale teď tady, na tomhle místě, kde mám moře prakticky za domem, jsem zjistila, že to nebylo jídlem, ale že to bylo prostě jenom romantický. Jo, moře je romantický. Jak sviňa. Když jsem přijela, tak jsem se pořád jen procházela po břehu moře. Vydržím zírat do moře hodiny a hodiny. Moře je krásný, takový tajemný a neuvěřitelně romantický. Ano Luke, je to tak. Asi mě nikdy nedostane večeře při svíčkách (uf, teď se mi navalilo), ale moře, to je fakt síla. Dokonce se mi špatně usíná, když jsem se nebyla projít po břehu moře (a vypila jsem před tím hodně kafe). Mám známý, kteří mají okno přímo s výhledem na moře. Trávím s nimi hodně času a snažím se je donutit, aby mě pozvali na návštěvu. Kdyby tu nebyl zakázaný pít na veřejnosti, piju pivo na pláži každej den. A dělám u moře i jiný věci. Napsala jsem si dokonce seznam věcí, který chci dělat na pláži a postupně si je odškrtávám (teda teď už moc ne, ty jednoduchý jako grilování na pláži už mám a s těma dalšíma je docela problém. Na takový rande na pláži třeba nějak pořád nemůžu nikoho zlanařit…).
Tak Luke. Věř mi, že vím přesně, jak se teď tváříš… po Aleniné svatbě mě už nemůžeš překvapit. Ty sis to asi myslel taky a hele jaký další překvapení pro tebe mám… Tak. A je to venku, Dufča romantik. A neříkej, že‘s to tušil, protože‘s to asi tušil, což mě štve ještě víc. Nejsi totiž zrovna člověk, kterýmu dávám zapravdu lehko… Ale je to tak, nenabrečíš;) Užij si ten pocit!
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